Using Words to Give Life

James 3:1-12 (NLT) 

    Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged by God with greater strictness.

    [2] We all make many mistakes, but those who control their tongues can also control themselves in every other way. [3] We can make a large horse turn around and go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. [4] And a tiny rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot wants it to go, even though the winds are strong. [5] So also, the tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. A tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. [6] And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is full of wickedness that can ruin your whole life. It can turn the entire course of your life into a blazing flame of destruction, for it is set on fire by hell itself.

    [7] People can tame all kinds of animals and birds and reptiles and fish, [8] but no one can tame the tongue. It is an uncontrollable evil, full of deadly poison. [9] Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it breaks out into curses against those who have been made in the image of God. [10] And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! [11] Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? [12] Can you pick olives from a fig tree or figs from a grapevine? No, and you can't draw fresh water from a salty pool.

Words can build up or destroy

Proverbs 18:21 (NIV) 

    The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Avoid words that tear others down through gossip or unfair criticism

3 John 1:9-10 (NIV) 

    I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will have nothing to do with us. [10] So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us…

Proverbs 25:9-10 (NLT) 

    So discuss the matter with them privately. Don't tell anyone else, [10] or others may accuse you of gossip. Then you will never regain your good reputation.

Proverbs 18:8 (Msg) 

    Listening to gossip is like eating cheap candy; do you really want junk like that in your belly?

Matthew 12:35 (NLT) 

    A good person produces good words from a good heart, and an evil person produces evil words from an evil heart.

1. Confront our hearts whenever our words begin to reflect harshness, impatience, and biting or cutting responses

Matthew 15:15-18 (NLT) 

    Then Peter asked Jesus, "Explain what you meant when you said people aren't defiled by what they eat."  [16] "Don't you understand?" Jesus asked him. [17] "Anything you eat passes through the stomach and then goes out of the body. [18] But evil words come from an evil heart and defile the person who says them.

2. Choose to express words of grace, genuine appreciation and affirmation that will elevate another person’s soul

Proverbs 18:20 (NLT) 

    Words satisfy the soul as food satisfies the stomach; the right words on a person's lips bring satisfaction.

Proverbs 16:24 (NLT) 

    Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

Be aware that it is not only what we say but what people hear

Col. 4:6 (Msg) 

    Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.

Proverbs 15:28 (NASB) 

        The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer…

Job 16:3-5 (NLT) 

    Won't you ever stop your flow of foolish words? What have I said that makes you speak so endlessly? [4] I could say the same things if you were in my place. I could spout off my criticisms against you and shake my head at you. [5] But that's not what I would do. I would speak in a way that helps you. I would try to take away your grief.

2 Samuel 2:18-26 (NLT) 

    Joab, Abishai, and Asahel, the three sons of Zeruiah, were among David's forces that day. Asahel could run like a deer, [19] and he began chasing Abner. He was relentless and single-minded in his pursuit. [20] When Abner looked back and saw him coming, he called out, "Is that you, Asahel?"

    "Yes, it is," he replied.

    [21] "Go fight someone else!" Abner warned. "Take on one of the younger men and strip him of his weapons." But Asahel refused and kept right on chasing Abner.

    [22] Again Abner shouted to him, "Get away from here! I will never be able to face your brother Joab if I have to kill you!" [23] But Asahel would not give up, so Abner thrust the butt end of his spear through Asahel's stomach, and the spear came out through his back. He stumbled to the ground and died there. And everyone who came by that spot stopped and stood still when they saw Asahel lying there.

    [24] When Joab and Abishai found out what had happened, they set out after Abner. The sun was just going down as they arrived at the hill of Ammah near Giah, along the road to the wilderness of Gibeon. [25] Abner's troops from the tribe of Benjamin regrouped there at the top of the hill to take a stand. [26] Abner shouted down to Joab, "Must we always solve our differences with swords? Don't you realize the only thing we will gain is bitterness toward each other? When will you call off your men from chasing their Israelite brothers?"

3. Say what we need to say early, while there is still time

2 Samuel 2:27-32 (NLT) 

    Then Joab said, "God only knows what would have happened if you hadn't spoken, for we would have chased you all night if necessary." [28] So Joab blew his trumpet, and his men stopped chasing the troops of Israel.

    [29] All that night Abner and his men retreated through the Jordan Valley. They crossed the Jordan River, traveling all through the morning, and they did not stop until they arrived at Mahanaim.

    [30] Meanwhile, Joab and his men also returned home. When Joab counted his casualties, he discovered that only nineteen men were missing, in addition to Asahel. [31] But three hundred and sixty of Abner's men, all from the tribe of Benjamin, had been killed. [32] Joab and his men took Asahel's body to Bethlehem and buried him there beside his father. Then they traveled all night and reached Hebron at daybreak.

Immediately clarify issues and misunderstandings with others when God first prompts us to do so even before it has time to fester