Christmas 2003 - Preparation I by Andre

Three Steps to Effective Worship by Dr. Ben Lim

LIFE SKILLS IX: PUTTING OTHERS FIRST
My Life as a Servant

Philippians 2:3-11 (NLT)

3 Don’t be selfish; don’t live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself. 4 Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing.

5 Your attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. 6 Though he was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God. 7 He made himself nothing; he took the humble position of a slave and appeared in human form. 8 And in human form he obediently humbled himself even further by dying a criminal’s death on a cross.

9 Because of this, God raised him up to the heights of heaven and gave him a name that is above every other name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

When I lived in the Philippines we had a person who would drive my family’s cars for us. The driver’s name was Felix. I distinctively remember Felix. He was a quiet person, a man with few words. Driving in Manila was an adventure. Traffic was the norm; you had to maneuver your way through a myriad of small streets, being careful not to hit the hundreds of cars that are literally inches away from you, and paying close attention to people who walked the streets as if they, and not the cars, were the kings of the road. No wonder my parents hired Felix to drive for us!

Looking back I am pretty sure that Felix did not imagine his life to turn out the way it did. Drivers do not make that much money to begin with. Everyday he had to take the kids to school, fighting traffic and pollution wherever he went. If my parents wanted Felix in a particular place, he had to be there, no questions asked. Traffic cannot be used as an excuse for being late; you either make it on time or experience the wrath of my parents. In fact, Felix had to make himself available to my family 24 hours a day. He really did not have any days off. I assume he spent more time with me than with his own children.

Yet, I do not have any recollection of Felix ever complaining about life. Each time I was with him he treated me as one of his own. He protected me and cared for me. He even spoke kind words about my father and mother. Felix was never bitter about his life situation. He treated my family with the utmost respect, though I cannot say the same about my family towards him. Felix was a tireless person, even though each day took a toll on him physically. And while I knew he would love to spend his days with his family, my family came first for him. Felix literally gave his life for my family. Yes, it was probably done for economic reasons, but he still sacrificed himself for me nonetheless.

I still remember this one incident I had with Felix. Felix was sharing with me how poor his family was and how he could not afford to buy new clothes for his children. I ran into my room and gave him all of my clothes. My mom saw me and got very upset at me. But, Felix stepped up and lied for me, telling my mother that he made me do it. Of course Felix got into a lot of trouble and almost lost his job. Yet, he was willing to sacrifice his livelihood so that my mom would not be upset with me.

If I had to pick a person that resembles the servant lifestyle God speaks about in the Bible I would choose Felix. He was a person that had every reason to be upset at life. He had every right to carry a chip on his shoulder. I will admit that my family and I did not treat Felix as well as we could have. We only saw him as our servant; he had to do everything we commanded him to do. And yet he did his job well. He never used his situation against us. Instead, he chose to submit himself to us in servanthood.

Having qualities of a servant is not something people strive for today. Instead, the world teaches us to promote our own individuality, strength and wisdom. Who wants to occupy the lowest positions in life as a servant would? We would rather be at the forefront where everybody can see us!

Amazingly, the Bible encourages us to endeavor after servanthood. What the world thinks is absurd God elevates as ideal: he calls his people to serve him and to serve one another. Why is this so? Because this is exactly what Jesus did for us: he came down as a servant to die for each of us.

Paul eloquently points this out in Philippians 2:3-11, which will be our text today. More than anything, God desires that our lives reflect the servant lifestyle that Jesus had shown us when he was on earth. Being a servant is an important life skill that God wants us to have to change this world. This world will not be transformed through human strength and wisdom. It will be altered through humility and sacrifice. What are some guiding principles that we can learn from Philippians 2:3-11?

The first principle is this:

1. Servants never promote themselves. (verses 3-4)

Note how being selfish puts the focus upon ourselves whereas being humble draws the focus away from us.

When we elevate ourselves the focus is on us:
· We are selfish.
· We make good impressions.
· We are proud.
· We think only about our own affairs.

But, when we lower ourselves the focus is on others:
· We are humble.
· We think of others as better than ourselves.
· We are interested in other people’s affairs.

A servant never draws attention to himself or herself. This is because God, and not us, deserves all the glory. This is very difficult for us to do because our world is wired to promote the person and not the Lord. From getting a good grade to receiving a raise for a job well done, we strive to establish ourselves as worthy to be praised by others.

But, the Lord specifically calls us to do the opposite. We are to be humble and not seek good impressions from others. We are to think of other people and their life affairs instead of just focusing on our concerns all the time. We are not to be proud or boastful, but to meekly give of ourselves to others. A servant who has these qualities is admired and blessed by the Lord.

Now we are to have a servant attitude because this is exactly the kind of lifestyle Jesus exhibited to us. (verse 5) More significantly, Jesus revealed his servanthood by not clinging onto his rights as God. (verse 6) The second spiritual principle is this:

2. Servants never justify their importance. (verse 6)

· Jesus never claimed his rights as God; he chose to be a servant in order to save us.

This is an important principle to understand here. Remember that Jesus is God; thus, he could have demanded through his rights that he did not have to come down to earth in human form to be our sacrificial servant. Jesus could have claimed his position as King of all kings to prevent himself from going through the suffering and humiliation here on earth.

But, Jesus never does that. Can you imagine the Prince of peace, with all of his glory and majesty, stooping down to become like one of us so as to reach out to us in very personal intimate ways? This kind of action is not common in our society today. In fact, we do the opposite of what Jesus did. There is no way a CEO of a company should be sweeping the restroom floors. A ministry leader should never pick up the trash in the sanctuary. Why should someone with a graduate degree end up teaching first graders in Sunday school instead of the adults?

Having this kind of attitude is not what God looks for in his servants. Jesus never justified his importance as the son of God. Instead, he faithfully obeyed the Father’s will, even though he had every right not to go through the disgrace he faced here on earth. To be a servant we too should never justify our worth. Do not demand that you are better than the work God assigns for you. Regardless of our positions, rankings, or authority here on earth, we can never compare to the awesome glory of God. When we match up with God we realize that we are all small compared to his greatness. To be his servant is a privilege rather than a demotion.

Now as we make our way to verse 7 we read about Jesus making himself nothing as he takes the humble position of a human slave. In the first principle above we learned that a servant does not promote himself or herself. The focus is not upon our self-glory. An extension of this attitude is found in the third principle of servanthood:

3. Servants work invisibly. (verse 7)

The opposite of self-promotion is not spiritual idleness. God still expects us to serve his purpose, but to serve him in a quiet and gentle posture. In doing God’s work we never seek attention the way the world understands it.

· The world teaches us to be visible. (be proud, be selfish, be known, be powerful)
But:

· God teaches us to be invisible. (be humble, be caring, be meek, be unrecognizable)

You know Jesus did not have to come down as a humble servant. He did not have to make himself nothing. Remember, he is the King of kings. With his majestic power Jesus could have changed our lives with a snap of a finger.

But, Jesus chose to take this route for one simple reason: if the Lord over all creation was willing to be our slave and die for each of us, then we would genuinely understand what unconditional love truly means. This goes opposite with what the world believes a leader should be: to change something takes a proud, selfish and powerful person. But, Jesus shows us that being humble, caring and meek is more effective in a power-hungry world. A true leader is an invisible servant, one who points others to Christ instead of wanting to taste his or her own glory. We do not remain idle; we continue to do God’s work. But, the visible honor goes back to God and not us. We remain invisible, quiet and unobtrusive so that the Spirit of God can enact his power upon broken lives.

This point leads us to our last servanthood principle:

4. Servants humbly sacrifice. (verse 8)

Not only was Jesus made nothing. Not only did he take up a human form. Not only did he take up the position of a slave. Jesus humbled himself even further by dying a criminal’s death on a cross. (verse 8) No other images we have of Jesus can best project one of humble sacrifice than that of Jesus hanging on the cross for us. He lowered himself, forgoing his position and status as God, so that we may have a chance to find redemption in him. Jesus ultimately wanted humanity to be restored back to God, and he willingly gave himself up in order for this restoration to be possible.

And yet, it is in this most depleted state that God exalted Jesus as Lord of all:

· Jesus died a criminal’s death, yet in the end he was exalted as Lord of all. (verses 9-11)

· God will exalt those who live in humble sacrifice.

A humble sacrifice will find honor from God. Jesus knew his humble life was tied to his obedience to his Father. And it was God who brought Jesus back to his rightful glory. It is God who will recognize us for our humble sacrifices as well. And God will exalt us for our faithful obedience to him. Now, how do we practically live out such a humble lifestyle? Here are a few applications for the church today:

APPLICATION

1. Learn to take a back seat; put other people’s lives ahead of yours.
2. You must give up personal selfishness for humble sacrifice.
3. Never justify your importance.
4. Do not seek for personal glory. God will recognize you for your humble efforts.

© Arthur Hsu (2003)

LIFE SKILLS VIII: LET US SHOUT ALOUD
Developing a Thankful Heart

Psalm 95 (NLT)

1 Come, let us sing to the LORD!
Let us give a joyous shout to the rock of our salvation!
2 Let us come before him with thanksgiving.
Let us sing him psalms of praise.
3 For the LORD is a great God,
the great King above all gods.
4 He owns the depths of the earth,
and even the mightiest mountains are his.
5 The sea belongs to him, for he made it.
His hands formed the dry land, too.
6 Come, let us worship and bow down.
Let us kneel before the LORD our maker,
7 for he is our God.
We are the people he watches over,
the sheep under his care.
Oh, that you would listen to his voice today!
8 The LORD says, “Don’t harden your hearts as Israel did at Meribah,
as they did at Massah in the wilderness.
9 For there your ancestors tried my patience;
they courted my wrath though they had seen my many miracles.
10 For forty years I was angry with them, and I said,
"They are a people whose hearts turn away from me.
They refuse to do what I tell them."
11 So in my anger I made a vow:
"They will never enter my place of rest."

I know I lack a thankful heart. How do I know? All I need to do is watch myself in traffic. I grew up in the Los Angeles area, notoriously known for its traffic. The freeways are constantly a parking lot, no matter what time of day it is (unless of course you’re driving at 1:00 in the morning). Even the weekends are jammed pack with motorists driving all over the place and going in all directions, sometimes using illegal means to do so.

I admit I hate sitting in traffic. I get impatient as my car inches by at less than five miles an hour. Cutting people off is a skill you need to develop. There is no time to signal before switching lanes; you either go for it and squeeze into a narrow space between two cars, or you have to wait 30 minutes before finding another open lane. And do not think that just because you signal people will let you into their lane: LA drivers value any space they can get on the freeway. Now add all this with smoggy weather, no AC in your car, a sore back and rear end, and constant braking, and you too can easily grumble and complain. I confess I can be unpleasant when I drive in these conditions.

I will also confess that in the midst of my complaining and bitterness I am not thankful I could actually drive and that I have a car to drive. Many people do not have their own personal automobiles to drive to work. They have to use public transportations to get around town. Many individuals also do not have the privilege to own a driver’s license. I can do both, but I seem to take these privileges for granted when I am caught in traffic. Because I feel like I am being inconvenienced I deserve to whine about the situation rather than being humble that I have the opportunity to drive in the first place.

Surely many of us can identify with this situation. It may not be traffic for you, but it could be busyness in life, relationship problems, family issues, etc. Whatever the situation is one thing is clear: it is easier for us to complain and grumble rather than to have a thankful heart. For some reason we believe we are entitled to the best things that life has to offer. Only then do we acquire a thankful heart. But, if life hands us a degrading situation, we protest to our heart’s content.

But, have you wondered that the reason why you are constantly bitter and angry is because you do not have a thankful heart? Maybe your lack of close friendships is due to your constant complaints towards others instead of appreciation of love and care for them. Maybe you take your loved ones for granted, which is a form of abuse rather than one of thanksgiving. Whatever the causes are, a deficiency of a thankful heart will always result in brokenness instead of healing.

Psalm 95 speaks about the importance of having a thankful heart. A thankful heart connects us in worship to the almighty God. It is in the presence of this God where we find strength and restoration. And it is from this restoration that we are called to convey God’s healing to those who live shattered existences.

Psalm 95 begins with the psalmist calling the people to enter the presence of the Lord with singing and psalms of praise. (verses 1-2) Scholars believe that the scene is one where people are summoned from all over the land to approach the Temple and dwell in God’s presence. Imagine the sight of thousands of people from every direction beginning to congregate, shouting out loud and proclaiming in one joyous voice towards the rock of their salvation. And specifically, the psalmist calls the people to come before God with thanksgiving. (verse 2a) Here is the first principle:

1. A thankful heart must be the basis of our lives. (verses 1-2)

Normally we are thankful when something good has been done to us. A thankful heart is the result of somebody extending kindness towards us. But, note in verse 2 that we approach God in thanksgiving, not necessarily because God did something good for us, but because a thankful heart is just the proper response to God. We must learn that a thankful heart must be the basis of our lives and character. It is possible to be thankful even when nothing good is being done to you.

· Do not always think a thankful heart is the result of a good deed done upon you.

We must break away from thinking that we are only thankful if somebody is nice to us or has treated us well. But, if we are always called to approach God in thanksgiving, whether or not God blesses us first, then surely we can also approach everything in life with thanksgiving, whether or not we experience blessing first. Having this attitude will prepare us to be always thankful in all circumstances.

· We must constantly be thankful even when life is painful.

Always having a thankful heart means we are also grateful during the most difficult times of life. Normally life’s complexities only invite our complaints and grumbling. When our parents abuse us, we complain. When our significant others exploit us, we criticize. When I face constant traffic on the freeways I fume and get upset over the perceived stupidity of other drivers who do not know how to drive and are getting in my way.

· A thankful heart projects a zealous passion for God.

But, when we cultivate a thankful heart that passionately seeks after God, we also embrace the varied intricacies of life in thanksgiving. How so? Our second principle is:

2. A thankful heart is anchored upon the God of reliability and permanence. (verses 1, 3-5)

Verse 1 states that we are to give a joyous shout to God, the rock of our salvation. Being the rock means God is reliable and trustworthy, unlike our emotions and moods, which many times fluctuate without any rhyme or reason.

· A thankful heart is not dependent upon our emotional moods.

Unfortunately, our emotions and moods are intricately tied to having a thankful heart. If somebody gets us upset, we are not thankful. If somebody said something bad about us, we are not grateful. We cold hold grudges against a person for the rest of our lives just because this person said we are not handsome or beautiful!

Yet, a thankful heart should not be based on how we feel. A thankful heart is developed within us because God is the rock of our salvation!

· We are always thankful because of God’s constancy, stability and protection over us!

We should be thankful because our foundation is always stable and constant. We can count on God to be the same yesterday, today, and forever. As human beings our beliefs and character are always in flux; we are one person one day and another person another day. No wonder we can easily be thankful to our friend today, but brand him as an enemy the next day.

But, the Lord God is different. He is the rock. He is the great king above all other (false) gods. All of creation belongs to him, from the depths of the earth, to the mightiest mountains, to the sea and the land as well. How secure are we to lay our thanksgiving upon this great rock!

· With God’s constancy as our foundation, we are able to restore our broken relationships with families and friends.

Since our thankful hearts are built upon a constant unmovable God, we can mend wrecked relationships with other people in thanksgiving! We are no longer dependent upon our emotions and moods to cultivate a thankful heart. Instead, we are solely reliant upon the God of all creation, in whom we now receive his strength and mercy. A thankful heart is solidly based on the rock of our salvation, not upon fluctuating feelings.

Thus, even if somebody has purposefully hurt you, you will respond to them with a thankful heart. No matter what slanderous words and hateful actions you had to endure from someone else, your thankful heart is securely fastened to the great God who is above all other gods. Restoration with our enemies can be accomplished because our hearts of thanksgiving are not dependent upon human emotions; instead, our hearts are dependent on the permanency and eternal hope found in God alone.

This is further elaborated in verses 6-7a, which leads us to third principle:

3. A thankful heart brings us face to face to God’s adoring care. (verses 6-7a)

Again, the psalmist calls the people to come into the presence of God in worship. But, whereas verses 1-2 invite people to the direction of the Temple, in verses 6-7a the people are now entering the Temple. This section becomes more personal, focusing not so much on the whole community, but on the individual worshiper. Each person is to worship God in reverence, bowing down and kneeling before the almighty God. Why such a humble posture? Because he is our God, the one who watches over us; we are his sheep and he is our shepherd, providing constant care to us.

· We approach God in humility; God approaches us with healing.

We have a thankful heart because of this face to face encounter with the loving God. When we approach God he does not reject us. Instead, he embraces us with nurture and healing.

· We find forgiveness and restoration through this personal encounter with the all-loving God.

It is in this most intimate moment with God that we find his mercy. God desires for his flock to live in freedom; he seeks to break the bondages that hold us back from experiencing true love in him. Our thankful heart is shaped by this divine encounter. We are grateful because we put our hope upon a God who tenderly heals us through his unconditional love and grace.

· Result: A transformed heart will reach out to broken lives.

But, this blessed restoration should not remain in us. A thankful heart allows us to restore other broken lives as well, especially to those who might have hurt us in the past. Though you might think you are justified in distancing yourself from those who have abused you and taken advantage of you, God has other ideas.

A thankful heart gives us the freedom to forgive those who have hurt us. How so? If God’s desire is to heal us in forgiveness, then it must be the case that his desire is also to forgive those who have wounded us. Maybe our fathers never showed their love towards us; they were always strict and demanding. Maybe our mothers never encouraged us; they always put us down and say that we are stupid. Maybe we had experienced some form of abuse from a loved one. The list here could go on and on. Yet, having a thankful heart breaks this chain of hopelessness in our lives. Since we have personally received the loving care of God, we can now accept our enemies back into our lives in forgiveness. This does not mean every hurtful issue needs to be swept under the rug. But, what it does mean is that the road to recovery begins when a broken person (you) can reach out to another broken person (your enemy) because of your thankful heart. God is as much concerned about your enemy as he is with you.

Our last point is this:

4. A thankful heart does not grumble and complain. (verses 7b-11)

· Background: Exodus 17:1-7

Psalm 95 interestingly ends with this story from Exodus 17. The people of Israel were in the desert as they made their way to the promised land. They began to test God by complaining of lack of water. They grumbled that they were better off in Egypt, ironically the place where they were kept as slaves. They did not appreciate what God had done for them by rescuing them from bondage and leading them to their own land. God commanded Moses to strike a rock to get water for the people. Moses named the place Massah and Meribah because Israel quarreled and tested the Lord.

The point here is that God does not want us to have a heart of complaint. Grumbling and complaining only leads to testing one another and quarreling against each other.

· A heart of complaint only produces bitterness.
· A heart of complaint cannot forgive and restore.

- We cannot forgive ourselves: leads to self-pity and self-destruction
- We cannot forgive those who have hurt us: leads to broken relationships

· Result: A heart of complaint suffocates the growth of a thankful heart.

Maybe the reason why you are full of bitterness is because you are failing to live with a thankful heart. Your attitude towards this world is one of hatred. Yet you must still come before God with thanksgiving. Come before him face to face and let him be your shepherd. Let him heal you; make yourself vulnerable to him. Let God transform you to be a person always thankful in all circumstances. Do not be fearful about this: remember, your foundation is the rock of your salvation and he is constant and permanent in keeping a watch over you. Finally, use your heart of thanksgiving to reach out to those who have mistreated you. They, too, need healing from God. Today, let us all shout aloud with one voice; let us be thankful because of the everlasting love of our Lord God.

© Arthur Hsu (2003)

LIFE SKILLS VII: THE RICHES OF LIFE
Achieving Financial Responsibility

Proverbs 27:23-27 (NLT)

23 Know the state of your flocks, and put your heart into caring for your herds, 24 for riches don’t last forever, and the crown might not be secure for the next generation. 25 After the hay is harvested, the new crop appears, and the mountain grasses are gathered in, 26 your sheep will provide wool for clothing, and your goats will be sold for the price of a field. 27 And you will have enough goats’ milk for you, your family, and your servants.

I remember the first day of college. It was a bustling day. All along the main corridor of school many people congregated. It seemed like all of the college clubs were there trying to recruit brand new freshmen to join their cause. From the religious to the environmental, from the athletic to the social, all the organizations were reeling in one individual after another.

And then I saw a group that caught my attention, an organization with bright lights and outlandish offers, a club that will change my life forever: a credit-card company.

“You qualify for a credit card!” “You do not need a job!” “Money at your fingertips!” “Credit limits of up to $5,000!” “Low interest rates!” “Pay only $20 a month!”

Now that is tempting to a first-year college student like myself. I can have money in my pocket without having to work at all. I started dreaming about what I could buy as I was signing up for membership. Hmm… a stereo system, music, clothes… I fell in love with college right after the credit-card representative smiled at me and said that I was automatically approved.

At the end of my first year I had a staggering seven credit cards with an even staggering balance in my accounts. The total? $4,000! Things did not look good for me. In fact, because of poor grades I lost my scholarship. I had to borrow loans just to stay in school. With no job and no scholarship, I was in a financial dilemma. How could such a nice story end up as a nightmare?

This is not an uncommon incident for many of us. In fact, I bet many of you can identify with my story in some way. Money has been a blessing and a curse in human history. We recently witnessed how the Internet and dot.com industries in the 1990s created an influx of wealthy people. We also witnessed such a strong dependence upon money and the irresponsibility of spending that when the financial bubble burst, many of the same individuals lost their entire savings and livelihood.

Did you know that the Bible has much to say about how we should be responsible with our finances? In fact, Scripture is kind of like a financial advisor that teaches us godly principles in how we should embrace money and the pitfalls that come from such a dependence on it. This morning we will look at one such text that challenges us how we can have the right perspective when it comes to finances and the responsibilities that God expect us to have in view of this.

Verse 23 of Proverbs 27 begins by stating that we need to know the state of our flock. As an animal herder it is important to know how many animals are under your care and how much production you will receive from your animals. For example, you know that you need five cows to produce 25 gallons of milk a week to care for your entire family. If you have less than five cows or if you are not receiving 25 gallons from your cows, then your living sustenance will be tight and you will need to make financial adjustments to provide adequate care for your family. Maybe you normally buy 2 dozen eggs with some of the money you got from selling 25 gallons of milk. But, if you only have 15 gallons this week, you may opt to buy only 1 dozen of eggs instead of the normal 2 dozens.

The same is true when it comes to our finances. The first principle is this:

1. Know the state of your financial situation. (verse 23)

You must understand how much you are making and what production you can receive from it. Do not fool yourself to think you can afford everything by what you are earning. Let me give an example:

You make $2,000 a month after taxes. With rent, bills, food, savings, etc., your budget comes out to $1,900 per month. That means you are making enough each month and still have $100 leftover. Normally, you spend that $100 to buy clothes.

But, you find out that your landlord is raising your rent by $50 a month. With your current budget, this means you now only have $50 leftover. This results in buying fewer clothes than before. There is no way you can continue to purchase $100 worth of clothes a month when you know you only $50 leftover. You will be in a deficit all the time. This is what it means to know the state of your financial situation.

Other suggestions related to this are:

· Are we living beyond our means?

For example, you know that you can only afford $700 a month for rent. Yet you live in this house that costs you $1500 a month. You are living beyond what you can afford. Knowing the state of your financial situation means comprehending how much you can spend on rent, clothes, food, etc., and not living beyond your means.

· Our professions could determine our income’s restrictions.

Many times your job determines your financial restrictions. For example, as a pastor, there is no way I can live a lifestyle that a pop star singer might be able to. On average, a singer earns more money than a pastor. MTV has a show called “Cribs” where they go into the houses of well-known celebrities and film how these celebrities live. Many of them have gigantic mansions with expensive cars and lavish pools with waterfalls overlooking the city. There is no way I can ever afford any of those homes. I understand that my profession does not allow me to live such an extravagant way. And I should not pretend that I could live like a singer or actor. Part of knowing the state of your financial situation is comprehending the restrictions you face because of your profession.

· Where we are in our life stages could determine our income constraints.

Our life stages can also affect our financial standing. Generally speaking, a college student is financially poorer than an engineer. An elderly person may be poorer than a middle-aged person since the younger person has greater opportunities to work while an elder person may not have the luxury to work at all. The point here is that where we are in our life stages can limit our financial resources and how we spend those resources.

The second half of verse 23 states that animal herders need to put their hearts into caring for their herds. Since the herders earn their living from the produce of their herds, they must make sure the proper food, nutrients and environment are established for the herds to breed healthily.

The same is true when it comes to our finances. The second principle is this:

2. Be responsible for what you own. (verse 23)

For example, an automobile is important for many of us because it transports us to work and school. Cars are also used to take us to the grocery store, the doctor, etc. Yet, though we pay good money to buy the car, many of us do not invest wisely in keeping the car in good running condition. We could save thousands of dollars in car problems if we only spend far less amount of money on regular car maintenance such as an oil change or a tune-up. As it is, we fail to care for our “herds,” which force us to waste more money that could have been stashed away as savings.

We have to be responsible for the things that we own. This includes our cars, houses, clothes, etc. Properly maintain what we have so that we do not to spend more money trying to fix things. God wants us to be economically responsible for the things that we have. Our possessions are not “toys” that we can rightfully destroy and waste. These are blessings that God has given to bring us comfort as well as be used to be a blessing to other people. Wouldn’t it be a shame that you could not take a person to church just because you consistently fail to get an oil change and now your car is not working? God holds us accountable for our actions.

So far we have learned that it is important to know our financial situation and to be responsible over everything we own in life. Why are these significant? The answer is found in verse 24: riches do not last forever just as human power cannot guarantee peace for future generations. All of us know that politics and human authority cannot warrant security for the future. Kingdoms and “crowns” cannot assure safety forever; they appear and disappear just like the wind.

Since this is true about human power, it is also true when it comes to riches. Here is the third financial principle:

3. Life should not be shaped by how much you make. (verse 24)

· Do not base your identity upon human foundations; money and power do not last forever.

Money and power come and go. They have short-term gratification but do not provide lasting joy. They may give us temporary happiness here in this temporary world, but they cannot guarantee eternal hope.

· Be fixed to the eternal hope found in Jesus alone.

34 Then he called his disciples and the crowds to come over and listen. “If any of you wants to be my follower,” he told them, “you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow me. 35 If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will find true life. 36 And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process? 37 Is anything worth more than your soul? 38 If a person is ashamed of me and my message in these adulterous and sinful days, I, the Son of Man, will be ashamed of that person when I return in the glory of my Father with the holy angels.” (Mark 8:34-38)

It is unfortunate that we define our lives based on what careers we have, what rankings we occupy, how much money we earn, even what school we go to. Jesus tells us that this is our way of saving our lives. Yet, if we try to keep our lives for ourselves we will lose it. Gaining the whole world will not rescue our souls when God comes to judge us. Instead, our lives must be fixed in the eternal hope that only Jesus can give. Things of the world do not last forever, but the love of Jesus does if we choose to submit to him and allow him to be our Lord and Savior. Remember that your soul is worth more than what you will ever make in your lifetime. Connect your life to Jesus now.

The passage ends by explaining the purpose of possessing things. Why are there hay, new crops and mountain grasses? Why do sheep provide wool and why are goats sold? What is the purpose of goats’ milk? We come to our fourth principle:

4. Understand that financial resources are meant to provide care for you and your loved ones. (verses 25-27)

· Owning things should reflect our needs, not our abundance.

As a society today we fail to properly comprehend why we own things. We think that ownership allows us to accumulate as much stuff as we possibly can. As long as I can buy it, I have a right to own it.

But, this is not what verses 25-27 tell us. Nowhere does it say that we have a right to live a life of abundance or extravagance. Instead, God gives us the responsibility of ownership in order to help us care for one another, not to collect as much material objects as we possibly can.

Many of us are negatively affected by finances because we fail to understand what it means to own. We might have 15 pairs of jeans in our closet even though we know we only need 3 pairs. I read stories in the Internet of people who would buy countless numbers of computers and computer parts because of great deals, even though they know they do not need 10 systems in their home.

Proverbs 27:23-27 teaches us that we own so that we can care for ourselves and our families. This does not mean that we have to live on the bare minimum. But, all of us can admit that we love to live in extravagance. This is not what God expects from us. Begin to reflect on what you own and you need to ask yourself honestly if God would be pleased with what you have. Do you really need what you have or did you buy because it makes you look and feel good?

· Financial resources support provision, not selfishness.

Ultimately, many of the things we own are due to our selfishness rather than our needs in life. We want the more expensive jewelry, we shop at the more exquisite stores, we desire the sophisticated cars, etc. What we own goes beyond what we need to enjoy life the way God wants us to. This leads us to the last principle of this message:

5. Learn a life of giving and not a life of receiving.

One effective way to break out of our selfish greed and become more financially responsible is to learn to give instead of to receive. We want to develop a habit of caring for others instead of piling things up solely for ourselves. Maybe our extra clothes in our closets could be given away to families who need them. Maybe we can use our automobiles to give people rides or even lend them our cars. Maybe our homes are to be used to bring people in and make them feel connected and well-cared for.

When we root ourselves out of personal selfishness we will begin to understand God’s purpose when it comes to financial responsibility. Finances help us bring care and protection for us and our family so that we can engage this world for Jesus. We are not supposed to hoard up and accumulate as much stuff as we can. We own and have money to provide security for our loved ones. And by giving to those less fortunate than us we train ourselves to give always because that is what God does for us each and everyday. We are not shaped by how much we have; instead we are formed by the unconditional love that Jesus gave to us through his death on the cross. The riches of life are not found here on earth; they are found within the very being of God.

© Arthur Hsu (2003)

LIFE SKILLS V: THE POWER OF ONE
Freedom in Singleness

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 (NLT)

32 In everything you do, I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man can’t do that so well. He has to think about his

We live in a world today where “more is better.” This is very obvious when it comes to material possessions. People are happier if they own two cars instead of one, have a three-bedroom house instead of a studio apartment, or possess 10 pairs of shoes instead of only one pair.

This principle of “more is better” has been carried over to human relationships as well. Now, some of the reasons why are for advantageous motives. For example, if you are moving to a new place it is much easier and more efficient to have five of your friends help you instead of moving everything on your own. In fact, when it comes to friendships, it is beneficial to have many trustworthy friends whom you can lean on versus not having a single friend at all.

This idea of “more is better” is clearly seen when we talk about marriage. We always talk about the healthy benefits of having a husband or wife who can encourage us, strengthen us, challenge us, and build us up to become a better servant for Christ and to become a solid mature human being. The church heavily promotes marriage as the best thing a person can ever experience outside of his or her devotion to God. We believe that everybody needs to have a partner in life to find significance and self-worth.

But, what about the single person? If a person is not married does that mean he or she has less worth than a married person? Obviously the answer is a resounding “No!” Unfortunately, society in general, and the church specifically, fails to honor the value of singleness. We instinctively think that if somebody is single that person is lonely or something is wrong with that individual. A single person is looked down upon as an incomplete human being who is unable to enjoy the full benefit of life unless he or she has a life-long partner. It is extremely sad to hear about many churches who demand that their pastors are married so that the pastor can fully grasp what life is truly all about. Would Jesus have been qualified to be a pastor at a church today given his single status? This is indeed a sad testimony.

1 Corinthians 7:32-35 addresses the issue of singleness. The passage does not determine whether being single is better than being married, or vice versa. Instead, the text teaches us the value and worth of a single person and the advantages a single person has when it comes to serving God. The hope of the message today is to encourage the single person to understand his or her position in Christ and the opportunities he or she has in living out a life that is pleasing to God.

Paul starts off by teaching the church at Corinth that in everything they do they need “to be free from the concerns of this life.” (verse 32) Why? Because in order to give one’s best to God one needs to have as few distractions as possible. (verse 35) The first point is this:

1. Singleness is one way we can reduce distractions in order to serve God more effectively.

We are not saying that singleness is the only way to become spiritually effective. We are also not advocating that singleness is better than being married. Here Paul is pointing to a common-sense principle: the amount of obligations we have in life will affect our time and effort when it comes to serving God. An unmarried person does not need to worry about the well-being of a spouse, whereas a married person does. Being single means a person has fewer responsibilities and thus can commit that extra time and energy to serving the Lord.

I can speak on this first-hand. I am a married man; I’ve been married for over a year now. Before I was married I had a lot of flexible time to serve God. I could have discipleship any time of the day. I can spend time with people without looking at my watch all the time. I can go on trips with the students without worrying about a spouse at home.

My life has changed once I got married. Now I have an added responsibility to take care of my wife. One way I do this is to be at home at night and spend time with her. I can no longer stay out late with other people. I have to do more chores at home, which creates less time for me to be involved in other ministry activities. Whenever a ministry opportunity arises I would need to consult with my wife and see what her thoughts are. Simply put, I have more things that I am responsible for that a single person does not have to think about.

Being single provides a person with a single focus towards God, whereas a married person has a double focus, one on God and one on his or her family. There is nothing wrong with being married. It’s just that a married person has different priorities than a single person. Singleness allows a person the flexibility to do God’s work and have a single-minded focus in accomplishing God’s purpose.

It is clear that a single person does not have to be responsible for a spouse or family. Less distractions in life lets a person give their best to serving God. Here is the second point:

2. Singleness offers more opportunities to serve the Lord.

Paul mentions that an unmarried man, because of fewer distractions in caring for a family, can use that extra time to serve and please God. An unmarried woman can also devote her time for God’s work in body and spirit. A married man and woman, on the other hand, do not have as much opportunities to serve God because they have added responsibilities to please their spouses as well. The interests of a single person can be single-minded, whereas that of a married person is divided.

Again, this is a common-sense principle. The fewer responsibilities you have, the more time and energy you can exert to serve God. A person who has to take care of a spouse, work to feed his family, pay bills, and maintain his house and cars will have less opportunities to serve God than somebody who is single and does not have all of these added responsibilities. The life of a single person, generally speaking, is much less complex than that of a married person. A single person can pack up and go on a road trip with the youth group on a single’s notice, whereas a married person cannot readily do that. A single person can stay much later after care group and pray for people, whereas a married person might need to go home earlier to his or her spouse and children. The point is evident: singles have more time, and thus more opportunities, to do more things for the Lord.

Now, having more opportunities and actually living out those opportunities are two different things. Though it is true that singles are more available to serve God, it does not mean that they will actually live out their lives for God. Many times the amount of opportunities found in a single’s life becomes a detriment to serving the Lord. When we have a lot of time on our hands, it is tempting to use that time for ourselves; we become spiritually lazy and do nothing for God at all. This should not be. All of our lives must be given over to God, including our time, energy, and flexible lives. Being available should not be squandered in busyness, schoolwork, career, etc. Instead, being single affords you more opportunities to care for God’s people; use your time for God’s work so that he could be pleased with you. (verse 32)

Again, this message is not to prove whether being single is better than being married, or vice-versa. Instead, it wants to encourage those of you who are single that you are very valuable to God. Many people believe that finding a partner in life will bring completion to their lives. This is not true at all. Marriage does not bring completion; only through a personal relationship with God will each of us find completion. This leads us to our final point:

3. Whether we are single or married, we find true completion only in Jesus Christ.

Marriage, in and of itself, cannot give you true fulfillment. Our purpose in life can only be found in an active relationship with God. Why do you think over half of marriages, including Christian marriages, end up in divorce? Marriage does not guarantee your life will be filled with peace and hope.

For those of you who are single, the most important thing in your life is your walk with God, not whether you will find a spouse or not. You must purposefully seek God out and ask if marriage is part of his plan for you. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Whatever it is, it does not make you a better or worse person than anybody else. Marriage does not make you a good person, anymore than being single makes you a bad person. Being married or staying single is looked at by God equally; what he is more concerned about is your personal devotion to him. And God knows which option, whether marriage or singleness, will help you grow spiritually.

This means that if you are single, recognize that you are valuable to God and you can be used by him to make a difference here on earth. You are no less a person just because you are single. Remember, you have more opportunities to accomplish great things from God; spend your time doing God’s work and thinking about how to please him. You are less distracted that a married person to focus single-handedly on serving the Lord and his people. And your relationship with God will afford you true completion that nothing else in this world, including marriage, can give you.

Here are two applications that we can employ in our lives when it comes to singleness:

1. Being single gives you freedom to love everybody equally.

When it comes to love, a married person is automatically biased towards his or her spouse and children first. Even if his or her family made a mistake towards somebody else, a married person must still stand by his or her family and support them in love; this may not necessarily be the case if the love is directed towards another family that is not yours.

But, a single person can manage to love everybody equally because he or she has no close ties with anybody else. A single person can love all of the children at church in the same manner, whereas parents will naturally side with their own children first. There is freedom for a single person to make a difference in a Christian community that a married person may not have. You have the power to make a change in people’s lives because you are not tied down to anybody else.

2. Being single gives you freedom to achieve personal healing in your life.

Many of us need the time in life to grow up and find out who we are in Christ. Being married may not give you the space needed to do this. Some of us need to deal with emotional, psychological, physical, and spiritual issues, and part of the healing process is time and space for us to be restored. This is hard to accomplish if we have a spouse to worry about, children to take care of, etc. God wants each of us to be made whole in all areas of life. Who knows, being single at this juncture of your life may be a blessed thing for you; by being made whole now you will be a much stronger individual in the future if God calls you to in fact get married and raise an family. Use this time to grow as a person and understand the unique purpose of God in your life.

In summary, there is power found in being single. Do not believe you are much better off if you are married. God can still use your single lifestyle to accomplish great things through you. What is of greater significance for you is your willingness to surrender your life over to him. Do God’s work and pursue the things that please him. Be single-minded in your focus and devotion to him. Take advantage of your opportunities to make a difference and do not let any of life’s distractions hinder you from fulfilling God’s purpose in your life. Use the freedom found in singleness to devote your whole life to Jesus.

© Arthur Hsu (2003)

Deep down, we all desire to have good, intimate and satisfying relationships, no matter what culture you are from. It is because God said from the beginning that it is not good for man and woman to be alone.

But in spite that universal longing in each of us to have satisfying relationships—we discover that it is not easy. We see broken relationships everywhere.

Today is the 4th in a series called Life Skills. And the reason it is a skill is because there are many qualities that are needed in this life that we do not naturally possess or you may not have had the opportunity to develop growing up. Today, we are going to talk about the skills necessary to cultivate the intimate relationships that matter in our lives. It could be your husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, or even your close family members. Now some of you will immediately ask—but I don’t have someone special in my life now—this topic is not relevant to me. I cannot disagree more—because when problems in marriage or relationship occur at the very end, it is often difficult to change; the time to change is at the beginning end, when things are preventable.

The best time to learn about such things are when you are younger so that you can save yourself from as much frustrations as possible. Don’t you think so?

There is no such thing as a problem marriage, only problem people who get married.

We live in a world where people have lost value in marriages
Matthew 19:5-6 (NLT)
And he said, 'This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' [6] Since they are no longer two but one, let no one separate them, for God has joined them together."

Ruth 1:9 (Living)
And may he bless you with another happy marriage."

Jeremiah 17:9 (NIV)
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

When two people get married, they bring together with them all their past hurts, emotional baggage, unrealistic expectations and unresolved issues into the relationship. In marriages and relationships are often the best places to grow in character—but it would be better if we grow in character before that. Often, when things don’t work out in a relationship—we tend to blame the other person. We have to recognize that we all need to work hard to build a good, solid, God-centered and satisfying relationship by refining your own character and building each other up.

1 Thes. 5:11 (NLT)
So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

1. Purpose in your heart to prioritize your relationship with God above any other relationship.
What has this got to do with any relationship or marriage? None of us have all the strength and wisdom needed to grow a strong and satisfying relationship. Everyone of us has limited love. “Every relationship – even good ones – have conflict. If you don't know how to deal with it, how to resolve it, how to manage it, you can kill your relationship.” A person who already has a relationship with God naturally knows how to connect to an endless source of strength and love. But without God—when things go wrong—you go to books and seminars—books, seminars and counseling, very good as they are cannot give you more love and more strength. A person who does not know God is helpless when prolonged conflict comes. So for example—if you love someone without God—all you have is your limited love; but with God, its you + God’s endless and supernatural love.

Psalm 46:1 (NIV)
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

2. Cultivate Communication Skills
The lack of communication skills is one of the biggest killers in relationships and marriages. Talking is not necessarily communication.

a. Taking an active, proactive interest in the other person’s interest.
Philip. 2:4 (NLT)
Don't think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing.

b. Learn to Listen Carefully
Proverbs 18:13 (Msg)
Answering before listening is both stupid and rude.

Proverbs 18:15 (Msg)
Wise men and women are always learning, always listening for fresh insights.

3. Cultivate friendship within the marriage or relationship

Song 5:16 (NIV)
His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my lover, this my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.

Do you know that our relationship with God is partially a friendship? In John 15:15, He says—I call you friends; this is seen when Jesus asks Peter this question—Peter, do you love me, then feed my sheep; Peter, do you like me. In the same way, learn to be friends with in your significant relationships.

4. Have a life outside each other
Sometimes when couples get together, they end up only living for each other. They live and breathe only for each other—and this is so unhealthy.
Your wife or husband will never be able to meet the needs of your total person. That is why God gave all of us friends, family and wonderful distractions…

a. Friends
Friends are a gift from God. They are wonderful resources and a source of joy. Even the best marriages and relationships have conflicts and sometimes, the relationship cannot handle any more pressure—friends are a blessing especially at this point.

Proverbs 27:10 (NLT)
Never abandon a friend—either yours or your father's. Then in your time of need, you won't have to ask your relatives for assistance. It is better to go to a neighbor than to a relative who lives far away.

Also, having regular friendships give you perspective about life that you cannot see in your relationship. Not only that but when one person has joy in friendship, that strength and energy in brought back into the relationship as a blessing to both persons.

b. Hobbies and interests.
While you first priority is your responsibility to the other person, remember that God has also made you a unique individual with gifts and talents to cultivate and enjoy. Develop and use them to the glory of God…

5. Seek out and listen to Godly counsel and accept discipline
There will be times when difficulties come and you have no answers. Just be humble and get help—rather than holding on to pride and living with a broken relationship. Get counseling or seek people with wisdom and experience in this area. And then do what you need to do. Remember that we all have sin and unresolved areas in our lives

Psalm 37:30 (NLT)
The godly offer good counsel; they know what is right from wrong.

Proverbs 19:20 (Msg)
Take good counsel and accept correction—that's the way to live wisely and well.

Psalm 119:40 (Msg)
See how hungry I am for your counsel; preserve my life through your righteous ways!